more dopes you shouldn’t bother dating.

So the last post created quite the discussion – who knew we had dated so many dopes?! Tis’ a blessing and a curse, buuuuut sharing and commiserating has proven to be both entertaining and educational. Thank you ladies, and gentlemen (yes, there was more than one male response), for sharing stories of the dopey ones you’ve had the (mis)fortune of dating, or simply eating an awkward dinner with once.

So with that being said, I bring you more dopes you shouldn’t bother dating

Exhibit 1: The Momma’s Boy

Knowing your man loves his mama is the mark of a true catch. Except when it’s not. Sometimes the catch to that great catch? He hasn’t quite cut the cord, meaning he goes to her before making major decisions – moving, changing jobs, choosing a significant other – and looks to her for validation. A healthy attachment is fine, but if Mom is picking out his underwear you better move on to the next one.

Exhibit 2: Mr. I’m Sexy and I Know It

You are not as “hot” as you think you are, trust me. I’m glad that you have a great face and a decent personality but come on, you have GOT to bring more to the table. There is a major difference between being confident and being narcissistic; proclaiming yourself as “sexy” or “hot” will ultimately get you nowhere. Red flag? When he likes his own Instagram photo. Good looks do not cover crazy.

Exhibit 3: Mr. High School
You know the dreamy Homecoming King Mr. School Spirit Class President? That was awesome, but HELLO, it’s 2012 – it’s been ten years and you’re still stuck in a time warp of high school euphoria. Translation? You’re at the local watering hole buying shots for current high school seniors on a Tuesday. A date with this dope consists solely of rehashing that game-winning touchdown that took their team to state whilst driving through the campus in his 2001 Mustang. Welcome Back Kotter? I’ll pass.

Exhibit 4: Mr. Credit Card Just Got Declined….

…while buying ice cream at a Sounds game. Yes, this is a true story and one that has continued to haunt me since I heard it. In her own words, “if you can’t afford ice cream then I do not want to see your credit score!” Amen. 
Exhibit 5: Mr. Have Your Cake and Eat it Too

Who said you can’t have your cake and eat it too? Well, everybody. This dope thinks he can have you, and the other girl and that one girl that he met that one time – all at the same time. As long as you can compartmentalize and be nice it’s ok, right? This guy is arguably the worst simply because he cannot be trusted, no matter how convincing he may sound. To quote the Black Keys, “the look of the cake, it ain’t always the taste.”

Word. xoxo.

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One thought on “more dopes you shouldn’t bother dating.

  1. Katie, my girl, this post was awesome. Loved how you incorporated my stories and quoted me! And your "Good looks do not cover crazy"? Priceless.Beth

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