here’s something to talk about.

Conversations about relationships keep me young. Whether it’s overhearing two friends recovering from a tiff over something ridiculous or listening to your friend’s reaction to your close-to-perfect first date, conversations centered around relationships are never dull. Relationships get sticky, communication bobs and weaves and how do we deal? We talk about it. On any given day I hear equal parts genius and “OH BROTHER” advice/musings – not sure which is more educational but believe me, both are entertaining. Here are a few of my favorites from this week (and it’s only Thursday).

He’s not crazy. Well he’s ‘Norman Bates have your dead mom in a rocking chair crazy’ but he seems harmless. He’s not over dramatic crazy. – my favorite and your’s, Peter Depp, @peterdepp
Girl, discussing her ex of six months: Yeah, we were together a long time but I gave him back all of his stuff and got rid of most everything that he gave me.
Me: I don’t blame you, that helps. Good for you!
Girl: Well yeah but I still make my bed every morning and place those two matching teddy bears he gave me in the middle. I mean, that’s where they live.
Let’s all promise to never ever be embarrassed of feelings but also shutting the f&ck up more! – Sophia Rossi, @sofifii 

I’m so underwhelmed by guys right now. The only male getting me off the couch and into skinny jeans and makeup is Timothy Tebow himself. – O’ Canada’s Alli Kearns

Girl at lunch #1: He’s holding my Bible and pearls hostage.
Girl at lunch #2: Why can’t he just drop it off?
Girl at lunch #1: Because that would make perfect sense and he never makes perfect sense.
Girl at lunch #3: Those are like the two classiest things he could have of your’s.
Girl at lunch #2: Sounds like a self-help book, “Pearls and a Bible.”
Girl at lunch #4: Or a bad country song sung by Reba. 
Stay away from him, he has the sense of humor of a snail. – THE Kenna Rowe, @SKennysays

Woman at new mexican place: I just adore that shirt on you.
Her date, easily twenty years her senior: You.
Woman: So tell me about your day, I want to hear everything, of course. Oh and did I tell you? I have a pool.
Her date: (sips brandy) Strong.

I hope you don’t mind but I told her as soon as she got in the car! I just couldn’t help it, when she asked about you I word-vommitted in excitement! – my life coach and awesome friend, Beth Seeley

What have we learned today? Communication is always good, even when it isn’t, and being funny covers a multitude of sins. XOXO.

for the love of Kanye.

We all get a little cray from time to time, some more than others, but hey! no judgement. Establishing a career and being the center of your social circle can get exhausting at times, especially if you have a job you actually like and friends who you like more. Here are some of my favorite simple, effective – and best of all – totally free ways to feel better when things get a little crazy.

Get rid of bad relationships. Maybe you’re dating a narcissistic psychopath that likes to make everything your fault. Maybe your current bff likes to remind you of your minor flaws over a not so friendly lunch. Exchange the woe-is-me types for the go-getters who actually smile. Get rid of the Johnny Raincloudsyou ain’t got time for that!

Talk it out. Never underestimate the power of putting it all out there. Venting is healthy and I guarantee your close friends will love you more for coming to them for support and guidance of sorts. Wine helps too.

Practice gratitude. I have become semi-obsessed with the private yoga class I attend every Monday. For one whole hour I am focused, quiet and totally at peace with both body and mind. Don’t I sound like a yogi? The greatest lesson I have learned from my practice is the importance of expressing gratitude. Finding the beauty in each day and being thankful for it’s presence. Namaste.

Set aside some YOU time. Yes, it’s great to vent to your friends and even better to surround yourself with positive people, but you need some alone time to get it all right in your own head. I do not suggest sitting in silence; I do suggest ordering takeout and listening to Grace on vinyl.

Try saying “no” every once in a while. If it’s good enough for Nancy Reagan, it’s good enough for me. Contrary to popular belief, you can politely turn down an invitation and give yourself permission to rest. Plus you appear more aloof if you say no every once in a while.

And if the above methods fail, there’s always Vegas. xoxo.

Olympic Hangover.

For the past two weeks we have spent questionable amounts of time cheering on men in spandex and  obsessing over sports we did not know existed. What other event could (peacefully) unite every country on the globe and manage to bring the Spice Girls back? Only the Olympics. Sadly, like all good things the games and priceless Bob Costas commentary had to come to an end. If you now have that melancholy, lost feeling you get when you have to go back to real life after a long, much-needed vacation, you are not alone. Here are some activities to help you nurse that Olympic hangover.

  • Enroll in gymnastics. Spandex optional.
  • Say hello to your Nigerian neighbors across the street – you now have something to discuss.
  • Go outside.
  • Shark Week, if you’re into that sort of thing.
  • Laugh at Michael Phelp’s new ad for Louis Vuitton where he can be seen partially submerged in a tub while wearing a suit and a pair of goggles while the overpriced bag conveniently sits beside him on a towel.
  • Plan a trip to London. Take me with you? 
  • Buy new running shoes, or actually use your running shoes.
xoxo

"chicken’s aren’t gay, " kenna says.

This is Kenna. 
Kenna has loved Chick Fil A since she was a wee one, but today’s hysteria has caused her much distress. She has begun to rethink everything she has ever known about chicken, and social media in general. Why did the chicken cross the road? Was it in fact wearing a glitter tank? 
Below are her thoughts on Chick Fil A, chicken and all the unnecessary hysteria surrounding it all. Please note: these comments were recorded in real time – trust me, she talks entirely too fast – and no chicken, or Chick Fil A employee, were harmed in the creation of this piece of greatness. 
_____________________________________________________
Talk chick get hit.
August 1st – First homeschool field trip of the year. “Come on guys, get in the van!” As little Jedidiah orders a Genesis number 2. 
Chickens are not gay. Chickens are not straight. They’re just chickens. 
Last time I checked, standing in line for a number 4 was not news-worthy. 
 
For those of you who want to do some spring cleaning on Facebook, here’s your perfect time. It’s like all the beta fish feeding on opinions and chicken nuggets. 
Opinions are like ***holes, everybody has one. 
You’re going to block out an entire day to eat double your calorie count on fried foods and polynesian sauce? Really?
I haven’t seen a craze like this since the beanie baby fad of 95′.
I hope Chick Fil A’s everywhere adjusted their sales plan for today’s traffic. 
For those of you who still have brain cells left, stop talking about the chicken. 
Those kids worked for their $7.35 an hour today. 
(After reading her 15th ridiculous FB post) “I’m going to get a double down. Now.”
Let’s stop talking about Chick Fil A and focus on more important things, like the wonder that is Ryan Lochte and the entire US Men’s Swim Team. 
You’re welcome. 
xoxo