Monday Prayers With B.

Today we come together to ask some tough questions about an old fan favorite of your’s and mine: 50 Cent. So many items I would love to discuss with him, given the Oprah-level opportunity. I challenge you to turn on “Just a Little Bit” as we ask Curtis (almost) 21 questions:
Where are you?
Was your interview with Oprah an intervention or a Match.com set-up?
What happened with Chelsea Handler? 
Was that a Match.com set-up? OkCupid? 
Did she call you Curtis? 
Have you really been shot 50+ times?
Why did you become man-anorexic to play a character in a movie no one saw? 
You have a home in suburban Connecticut. WHAT IS THAT? 
Are you still mad at Kanye?

XOXO-B

Spring is for lovers?

Today is officially the start of Spring, one of my favorite times since it means Summer is creeping close behind. With this season change comes plenty of questions from my curious brain; a blessing and a curse, really. Here’s what I’m pondering –

Why is it still 45 degrees out?
Who did John Mayer cheat on Katy Perry with?
What is Jessica Biel’s favorite song off her husband’s new album?

Has Britney Spears threatened to shave her head (again) anytime in the past 6-8 months? 

What’s chemically wrong with the people who like their own Instgram photos…and like their ex’s Instagram photos?  
Why does our intern look like Matt Saracen?
Why did Kim have to get pregnant and completely dash my dreams of Jay-Z and Kanye playing at Lollapalooza 2013?
Why do guys think “hanging out and watching basketball” is an acceptable first, second or third date?
Is Lindsay Vonn on bath salts?
Why do people choose to own cats?
Does the Pope sleep in that hat?

Are hats chic now?

XOXO-B

COMMENTARY FROM THREE EDUCATED WOMEN DURING THE BACHELOR FINALE.

Chris Harrison is basically Bieber’s stepdad.

Does Sean “no eyebrows” Lowe own shoes?

Do you think he has a belly button?

His v-neck was sprayed on, obviously.

Say note again. NOTE.

Give a rose to Sean’s dad.

Her voice makes me want to vomit this gluten-free cookie up.

She sounds like an 8 year old with a sinus infection.

Can you have HIS hand in marriage? Not so funny when he doesn’t pick you.

I think he dyes his hair.

He looks like a horrible Hollister ad right now.

THAT MAN TANK. I cannot.

No, you did not decide to float down that river, ABC did…they also gave you a geography and history lesson on Thailand before filming.

What if Biden and Chris Harrison switched gigs?

Unfortunately we all remeber your first kiss on the stairs.

Is she old enough to drink?

If I didn’t like our awesome TV so much I would chunk this at his face.

Look! It’s Mulan.

Notice they didn’t show her getting up on the elephant.

XOXO-B

My ElimiDate.

Sometimes you go to dinner and have a nice quiet meal with friends and sometimes you go to dinner and end up being an extra on ElimiDate
A few nights ago I was exhausted – publicity is tough – and all I wanted to do was see my friends and eat food. Preferably at a chic/non Las Palmas or Pei Wei place, of course. We ended up at one of my favorite local establishments, no wait, and were seated in the corner next to a couple sitting on the same side of the table and a few drinks in. Now, I didn’t judge these two right away. I assumed this was a first or second date and I assumed they were from Murfreesboro. Mid-30s. He was wearing aviators (yes, indoors, at night) and a hoodie/leather coat combo; she was wearing a red pleather skirt with a fur coat. 
I never heard her speak; only giggle. He, like any true douchebag, talked about himself and covered all of the following topics that landed him firmly in the ElimiDate elite:
He knows a lot of songwriters.
He loves LA but is over the scene.
He knows someone who is friends with someone who knows Elton John. 
You don’t know that song? (HE THEN PROCEEDED TO SING) *this happened twice
A record company cut him a check for “like seven figures.”
You want to go to Brazil? Let’s go to Brazil. I’ll take you.
He once either rescued small kids in an ocean or taught kids how to swim in an ocean. (muffled)
He’s so glad he met her because she’s so hot. 
XOXO,
B