Tami Taylor Was Almost on GIRLS.

Glamour Presents "These Girls" at Joe's Pub - Arrivals

Can we all take a moment to reflect on the fact that Connie Britton was supposed to make a guest appearance on GIRLS? THE Tami Taylor, Rayna James! The woman who I had to restrain myself from awkwardly hugging her perfect ginger hair when I sat next to her in my favorite Nashville brunch spot a few weeks ago.

 Apparently her crazy Nashville schedule kept her from being able to make it happen during Season 3, and while she’s bummed about it the rest of us are like WHAT? So many questions to consider here.

What character would Connie have been?

Was she cast as Adam’s “age-innapropriate, way out of his league” love interest? (Apparently they make it out in their upcoming, This Is Where I Leave You – gross? Yes.)

What does Connie think of Lena?

What does Connie’s hair think of Lena’s “British man” do?

Would Coach Taylor approve of her cameo on the same show where the leading lady is naked more than she’s not?

What is Tim Riggins doing now?

Eh. Connie, I will always love you because you will always keep it classy.

XOXO

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Dear B: Yes to Yoga?

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Dear B,

It’s shorts and bikini season again and I want to lose 5-11 pounds and tone up a bit. What should I do? I tried to Crossfit but once I realized I was a girl and wanted to stay that way I never went back. What do you think about yoga? I’ve dabbled here and there but never really made an effort – should I make yoga apart of my weekly exercise regime? Do I have to wear Lulu Lemon only? Do I have to pay a million dollars a class? Is it required to bring my own incense?

Lylas, A******

Dear Girl at Bonnaroo Who Doesn’t Wear a Bra with Her Tie-Dyed Halter,

First of all, calm down. What’s with all the questions? You’re asking for advice in the work-out arts, not how to tell your boyfriend of two months you cheated on him with the doorman.

B of all, you’ve come to the right place because yoga is my jam. I go to a private class once a week with a yogi whose energy is likened to a white, skinny Oprah and ladies who giggle with me through some challenging poses. Not everyone can be a baller and score a weekly private session, but here are some important things to look for in a yoga practice:

 Attractive teacher who is bendier than you

 Fellow yogis who shower and have nice feet

Expensive enough to be worth it but not more than a nice dinner at Kayne Prime

Music that makes you feel like you’re at a spa in Bali

Nice, homey space to make your practice both comfortable and happy

 Within walking distance of a nice dinner spot (you’ll thank me later!)

So my dear, I’ve found that I am 98% grumpier when I miss a session and can honestly say I am a happier human for the rest of the week after my  shavasana. I suggest you grab a mat and glide to a yoga studio near you. Namaste.

xoxo,

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No More Weiner.

Anthony-Weiner-email-photoAnthony Weiner. What a name, right? His first act in office should have been to change his own name. After his political career imploded two years ago after some disgusting online behavior – even for political types – he went into semi-confiement –  no job, no Twitter.

 I have a hard time seeing New Yorkers shifting their Weiner thoughts from the raunchy adolescent crotch-shot Twitpics to Mayor of the Big Apple. His big comeback approach is centered around the YouTube video he posted Tuesday, showing him “hanging out” in his suit and tie with his sad wife and cute baby. Not a terrible effort, but he didn’t choose the most appropriate verbiage in an interview yesterday:

 “I hope atleast some of my ideas penetrate, and it changes some of the conversations.”

 He’s the total package.

 No worries, W! Here are some alternative day jobs for you to consider in lieu of public office:

“Scorned lover” on Days of Our Lives

Stay at Home Dad

C-level Adult Film Star

High School Girls Basketball Coach

Mark Sanford’s Intern

XOXO,

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Prince Harry Reminds Us Why We Love Him For More Than That British Accent

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Let me start off by saying I love a good ginger. Add a British accent, cocky attitude and a lot of money to that and you’ve got Prince Harry. My dream man of sorts.

Prince Harry has been on a publicity tour all over the US of A these past few days and like every hot-blooded American female under the age of 75 I’ve been following coverage more than closely. I am happy to report that the strapping royal ginger made quite the (positive) impression on everyone including little leaguers in Harlem and fan favorite Missy Franklin – a bloody success!

After sparking media hysteria during his last trip to the states – remember that time he was photographed nude in Vegas? – Harry waltzed through this seven-day tour a la America on his best behavior. He replaced partying with activities more typical of the Royal Family that have so entranced us – from honoring military families with Mrs. Obama and visiting wounded soldiers while in uniform in Washington, helping form a cheerleader pyramid (rah!) like a pro in Colorado, touring Jersey with Governor Chris Christie, to playing baseball with adorable little leaguers in Harlem.

 As if we weren’t already swooning, Harry ended his cross-country adventure in upscale Greenwich, Conn. with a roaring game of polo in a charity match. After looking like a moving Ralph Lauren ad on the field, His Royal Highness joined 400 moderately impressive guests – i.e. designed Jason Wu, model Karolina Kurkova and Dawn Jones, Tommy Lee Jones’ wife – at the exclusive polo club for a lively match benefiting Sentebale, a charity he helped found to raise support for at-risk youth in the African nation of Lesotho.

In true Harry fashion, he ditched the speech he had once prepared and wowed the invite-only crowd before the match began by thanking Americans for “such a wonderful week.”

 “I have witnessed the extraordinary generosity of the people of this great nation.”

Aw, you’re just too sweet, Big H! To solidify our obsession, the Wild Windsor went on to score the winning goal, sweetening the $1 million the match raised for charity. Bloody fantastic, I’d say!

Thank you, Prince Harry, for renewing our faith in 28 year old men, reminding us how much we adore a good British accent and proving you are more than Prince William’s younger brother. Here’s wishing you safe travels back over the pond and please promise to visit again soon. Preferably with Kate.

xoxo,

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Fact: Cabana Boys Are the Worst.

D965B4126CEB581DAB162ED8CBBABeing on holiday is great. Being on holiday at the beach for a week is WONDERFUL. I mean, my biggest task each day is taking the elevator down 11 floors and then walking the 2.5 minutes to my lounging area by the water.

My plan for time on the beach is three-fold: Read, Nap, Repeat.

This plan does not allow for too much small talk, and my family has known and respected this for years. It’s just how it is. So there I was yesterday, completely engrossed in chapter 5 of Kelly Oxford’s latest and generally loving life when a blonde-Justin-Bieber-on-Baywatch type crouched down about three seashells away from my face. THREE.

CB: Everything alright over here? (hair swoosh)

Me: Um yes, thanks.

CB: (to Cathy, my mother) How about you, ma’am?

Cathy: Oh I’m sorry, I’ve got my nose so deep in this Barbara Streisand biography I didn’t see you there!

Me: Well he did just appear out of nowhere.

CB: That’s my job!

Cathy: I bet this is a nice job, being on the beach all day and meeting new people.

CB: Well, it has its’ problems. Trust me. (winks at me)

Me: Too much sun?

CB: I’ll let you in on a little secret…

Me: I’m on the edge of my chair.

CB: This gig is physically and emotionally draining. It’s tough.

Me: Right.

CB: Yeah, a buddy of mine quit last week because it was just too much for him, emotionally. It beat him down. I had to ask the head guy to lighten my load the other day because I’m only one guy, right?

Me: What?

Cathy: Oh honey, here’s a $5.

XOXO,

B

Leo is All You Need.

The Great Gatsby is creating quite the stir. 
Now I love the classics and Mr. Fitzgerald’s has always been one of my favorite American pieces, probably because I was never forced to read it in school like most everyone I know. Anyone who’s anyone has been using social media to prophecize, predict, analyze and comment ever since Baz Carny Cray Luhrmann announced his intention to start filming. I’ve heard whines about everything from the unnecessary extravagance to casting of Daisy to the way the modern soundtrack makes/breaks the film.

I’M OVER IT.

If you’re being honest with yourself, only one thing really mattes, well, besides the fact that Jay-Z produced the soundtrack which is Epic. 
Jay Gatsby. 
Shout out to Robert Redford from my grandma but HELLO, Leonardo DiCaprio being mysterious, rich and in a three piece suit? 
I’m in. 
So without further adieu, the many (incredibly attractive) emotions of Leo as Gatsby: 
Anxious/Awkward Gatsby

Romantic Gatsby

“I Really Want to Hurt You Right Now” Gatsby

Classy Frat Boy Gatsby
Perfection.
xoxo,
B